deep thoughts

Assalamualaikum..

You know what..sometimes you just want to be like someone..wants to be stylish like..wants to be smart like him..wants to be adore like her..want to be successful like him..
Well gues what.you're not all that.you can't BE everything you want..sometimes what you have is the most that you can make..yes?
Don't be pessimistic yet..that sentence is not even taking either side..its up to you to think for yourself..but this is what i have stirring in my head.

So there's me.Lazy.Last minute person.Big exams.
Often pressured by teachers n family on my study attitude.though I didnt bother to change,miraculously I succeeded.each and every one of those big exams..they might not be excellent.but as long as im satisfied,that's what it really matters.

What am I implying here?
You don't need to BE like anyone,clever like her or hardworking like him.She asks questions in class,so i must do that too..He refer to other books to study,so i must do research as well..

Why dont you stop right there..and cut this crap.what's with this like her,like him thing?can't you BE like YOU?be YOURSELF..I mean,you succeed because of yourself..not because you want to be like her..you can cook,not because you followed her,its because you know how..
They didnt push you to do things..you're the who wanted to..

You get an 80% in exams.Is it because you study like how he studies?or was it because,u believe that if you just concentrate and keep focus in what you're revising,you will surely make it through?

That's one thing I've learnt here in UK.When I'm away from the familiar surroundings around me,realisation came by itself to shade the lonliness i felt..When there's no one i can compare myself to,I know that my will,all this time,didn't come from 'wanting to be like that person'

All this while,all the things I succeed,all the failures I've encountered.It's all in me.It's always there,It just needs to be discovered.Most of the time unconciously.

I finish track laps..not because I want to follow her lead real close.but because I know I'm still not tired and very determined to finish those laps.
I study when It's near exam time,not because I want to have the same grades like him,but because I want to achieve those grades with this brain.My brain,not his.

Self-esteem actually IS one the most important factors in life. =)

Razan.